User Profile

My name is Becca and I come from a family of seven and I am the "baby" of the family. My family is like the brady bunch except weirder. My dad has three kids from his first marriage and then he divorced that lady and married my mom. They had two kids together. And then they adopted my brother and I. I have had a rough childhood from before the time i was born. My birth mother drank alcohol and did drugs while she was pregnant with my brother and then while she was pregant with me. It didn't help anything that both my birth mother and my birth father were severly mentally handicapped. My brother, he's 15 months older than me, was born mentally retarded but I wasn't. I just can't get over why I wasn't born mentally retarded too. I have learning disabilities and I had slight alcohol fetal syndrome when I was born. Both my brother and I were born with an eye condition where we were missing the muscle in our eyes that opens and shuts our eyelids. I wasn't able to see for the first 3 months of my life and then I had surgery where they placed cadaver muscle in my eyelids so I could open them. My brother had the same operation. Well before we were adopted we lived with our birth parents. We weren't taken out of the house by Child Protective Services until I was 2 and 1/2 and my brother was 3. Before the time that we were taken out my brother and I were both molested by our birth father and his father. Well we were eventually adopted into a good and loving home which both of us is very grateful for. When I was 13 I read my adoption files for the first time and found out that shocking information. I then got severly depressed and tried to commit suicide. I was place in a teenage ward of a psych hospital where I stayed for 2 months. During this time I refused to eat and dropped to my lowest weight of 77 pounds. But the weird thing was that they did not diagnose me with Anorexia Nervosa but with Bulimia Nervosa and I had never made myself throw up before that. Well I got out of the hospital and I started my highschool career. Which I still had issues with my eating disorder and there were times in highschool that I fainted just by getting up out of a chair. Well they started me on anti deppressants which made me gain weight. By the time I was a senior in highschool I weighed a whopping 119. And then I went off to college and I stopped taking my meds and I was able to lose alot of weight. I lost about 15 pounds within the first three weeks of school due to exercising compulsively and severly restricting my eating. Well after the first month of college I met this really cute guy and we started hanging out. He was a big guy about 6' and weighed about 200 pounds. Well one night I went to his dorm room and we were watching a movie and he started to make moves on me and I asked him to stop but he wouldn't. I tried to get away but he was too strong and he raped me and told me not to tell anyone or else he would kill me. Well I became severly depressed and stopped going to classes and eventually had to drop out and move back in with my parents. Well they made me start taking my meds again but little did they know I wasn't swallowing i hid them under my tongue and then spit them out when they weren't looking. Well two months after I got home I attempted suicide again and was place in a mental facility for about two weeks. They discharged me and three day slater I attempted suicide again. This time they kept me there for a month and a half and while I was there I refused to eat so they put a feeding tube in me. Well I was discharged from there and sent to a group home. I was there for 6 months and I just recently moved out and into my own apartment on November first. I am so happy that I am living on my own because now I don't have anyone nagging me about if I ate anything that day. Granted I have a case manager that comes and checks up on me to see how I am doing. But she hardly does anything. She just helps me fill my med box and then asks me if I need anything. I always say no. I haven't been taking my meds I just flush them down the toilet. But right now I weigh 121 and am trying to lose all that weight. Wish me luck!!

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